i am re-posting this here today in honor of mothers day….

i called her today.. i called her because i wanted to tell her how much i loved her,,
how much she means to me.. how she had once been the very center of my world…
and no one had ever been able to take her place…

but instead we talked about the weather,, and her class reunion
and the way that age had of making things that once seemed all important
bleed and fade like the ink on the unpreserved page….

i called her today,, i wanted to remind her that she was my first love
that i had never loved anyone as much as i loved her,,
that it was her love that had made all other loves possible..
and against which they would all forever be judged

but instead i told her about the the poem i had written,, and the book i think i may well never finish,,
we talked about the garden and the dogs and the man who said he would come to cut the grass,,
but never did…

i called her today my heart so full of love,, my mind overflowing with memories
of the times we spent in each others arms,, the tender goodnight kisses,, the loving glances
that stripped me of my insecurities and made me feel as if i could conquer the world….

but instead i told her that i would talk to her later,, as this long distance was costing me a fortune…..
and anyway,, i should be feeding the cat,, and getting the dogs in for dinner,, or folding the clothes
that finished drying an hour or so ago….

i called her today,, with every intention of making today the day i told her
all the things that have been weighing so heavily on my heart,,
all the things i have wanted to say for so long but had never garnered the courage to do so,,
all the things i don’t want either of us to ever leave this world without me having said…

but instead i waited until after we had said our good byes,, and added,, almost as an after thought,, “mama… i love you…”

photo:

http://fc07.deviantart.com/fs7/i/2005/203/8/5/a_phone____by_Gazo.jpg

inspiration provided by simply snickers….

heaven forbid we
lay the blame, where the blame
deserves to be laid

inevitably
it is someone else’s fault, and
they should have to pay

there is no such thing
as an accident, couldn’t
be i am to blame

living off someone
else’s’ mistake has become-
how the game is played

photo:

http://sambadi.deviantart.com/art/Somebody-to-blame-17717908

evelyn had given up on ever really finding happiness somewhere between the time the mortgage company foreclosed on her condo,, and the morning she showed up for work,, only to find out her position had been eliminated,, and her services were no longer needed….. somehow,, when she found herself 32, alone, homeless and now, unemployed,, staying alive seemed to edge out happy on her list of priorities…

she had spent the first few months in her truck,, half sleeping at night,, and applying for work during the day,, but her increasingly disheveled appearance had made finding someone willing to talk to her,, let alone hire her an ever diminishing proposition… it wasn’t long before she returned one day after pounding the pavement,, only to find, that everything she had packed, ever so carefully, into the bed of her truck,, had been ransacked,, and everything of value,, stolen.. then just another small stretch of time before her vehicle,, her home,, her life,, had been towed away.. everything she had left in this world,, hauled off to the impound lot,, for the crime of an expired tag,, never to be heard from again…..

until tonight,, she was sure something had to give.. after all, things like this don’t happen to the girl voted most likely to succeed in the altemont high school class of ‘94 yearbook.. things like this didn’t happen to girls who saved themselves for marriage,, who never drank to excess,, who never took drugs… things like this didn’t happen,, to good girls..

so when that man in the acura pulled over and asked her if she was looking for a friend,, she really was… she agreed to go with him,, and she allowed herself to do unspeakable things with him for fifty lousy dollars,, because she was cold, and tired, and hungry, and she could no longer allow her sense of deep moral obligation to get in her way… humming we are the champions, loudly to herself,, she did what he asked her to,, got out of the car,, and rented a room at a nearby motel 6…

she immediately stripped off all her clothes and lowered herself slowly, into the scalding water.. she laid back,, with her eyes closed,, and tried desperately to forget the events of this evening,, this week,, this month,, this year….

as she took a deep cleansing breath and exhaled slowly,, a warm gentle breeze of complacency washed over her, allowing her to think clearly for a moment.. it was in that instant,, that she found,, buried somewhere deep inside herself,, a sense of purpose like she had not experienced since she was young girl,, just making her way in the world,, unstoppable,, indestructible,, and yet,, ever so naive…

eyes still closed,, she picked up the straight edged razor blade, she had kept tucked away in her wallet, “for protection”,, from the cigarette burned rim of the molded plastic tub,,, and cut a quick, deep, vertical gash in each arm..

a sudden chill swept over her,, so she sunk down ever deeper, and disappeared into the warm caress of the bath water,, now crimson with the flow of her own blood..

photo:

http://fc04.deviantart.com/fs18/f/2007/124/8/0/

Counting_on_Kindness_by_Lahree.jpg

Fifty-five years ago
Under the sea,
A long-lost companion,
Remembering me,
Glanced over her shoulder,
And murmured a sigh.
The water grew colder.
She saw the sky.
She saw breath in my heart,
And she took in her tail,
Swam to the surface
And searched for a sail
A ship she remembered
For eight thousand years…
After I slipped afar,
Drowning in tears.

I was too far away,
Dark and deprived.
Russia was dying and
I was alive.

I only have shadows;
Dim memories.
Eight thousand years ago
In the deep seas,
Cold in half consciousness,
Startled to be
Born in a body and
Flung in the sea.
We seduced sailors with
Nowhere to go.
…What I remember
Defies what I know.

In the dull days
Of 6000 BC,
Worn by the ways
Of the deep turquoise sea,
Perched on a stone,
I laughed and splashed you.
We were alone.
My whole heart thrashed you.
My whole heart threw you
Grieving to hell.
You say I knew you.
I knew you too well.

If mermaids are miracles,
What do I see
…When I remember
6000 BC.

Written by Anna Williams at age 21

Poem Poem Poem
Free Poems

photo:

http://www.rowenaart.com/images/PearlMermaidBorder_bg.jpg

courtesy of one single impression and blog friday

photo: dumb blonde by: brett itaya

her stupidity
having all but deserted
her, left her speechless….

Spread open, all white

              naked and open

the house hums.

Funny to imagine

how a home can have lungs, a voice, once.

Now she’s pristine as a nun. A blank journal

almost too beautiful to write in, yet her

need to be filled begs.

The sofa that carried pungent scents

is not truant, a spiteful vacancy.

And the house is surrounded by a fence

               that has become off balance,

an askew choker around her neck.

Scrubbed to the bone, this house

waits for life to push in…

again, hard with daily needs.

The house desires a return to color,

the carelessness of easy love.

Her days of being tousled and yes

            sometimes even torn

her seams stretched to the limit,

             the aches and screams

             that filtered through her eaves.

A radiant mess of a production.

An unfinished play with the actors too

excited to study their lines.

Or better, a ballet all limbs in various

impossible positions.

Grasp the key

           in the hush of the door blown open.

Your life is in the toppling.

by: Cynthia Marie

                          photo:
 

forever flitting
back and forth
between
wanda’s house
and your friends
couches
fucking girls
you didn’t even like
for a place to stay
never working
but always finding a way
to put the buzz on
i will never understand
why you continued
to live that way…

i had hoped
we’d meet again
some day
so i could tell you
that despite all the things
i never understood
i love you still
i have never known
anyone like you
before or after
and i just wish
you’d hung around
long enough
for me to tell…

photo:

http://thesmallprint.deviantart.com/art/the-boy-who-has-wings-27203580

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a brand new prompt today from a site called simply snickers….

silent tears fell faster
than the steady rain
as i stood there
in a puddle of
my own desire
when the wind up turned
my umbrella
much like you
have up turned my heart…..

photo:

http://alyohinmax.deviantart.com/art/the-umbrella-38187494

for those of you that haven’t noticed… april was national poetry month,, and the challenge to produce poetry every day was alluring,, so i took that challenge and ran with it…

as of this moment,, i am poetically spent… and it is no doubt as i have written 54 poems over the course of the month,, and those are just the ones that were completed and posted on one of my three blogs…

if for some reason you didn’t already know,, i have three creative blogs that i do my best to update daily,, although at times i do slouch on one or another… and they are:

…why paisley???
just paisley….
the ink pot

and then,, just for fun,, there is:

secret,,, secret,,, i’ve got a secret….

on which i publish your secrets anonymously for all the world to see,, and comment on should they be so moved…. if you have yet to stop in here,, do so and feel free to drop your secret in the anonymous secret drop off site as well…. i am forever searching for the most intimate of secrets!!!!!

so today i am going to take a day off and regroup.. read one of the three (yes i had to have all three!!!) biographical memoirs of janis joplin i just got from amazon yesterday,, and relax….

i will be back tomorrow,, rested and refreshed,, and on the first of eleven consecutive days off!!! i am indulging myself in kind of a “stay at home and do all the things i have put off all year in order to remain glued to the computer” type of vacation…..

see you then!!

ritualistic
deflowering.. better known
as the wedding night…

photo:

http://hamster-ltd.deviantart.com/art/Old-Wedding-584894